If I’d only listened

The other day I had one of those moments where the Lord clearly spoke to me, but I didn’t listen. 

Grace and I went bowling with the homeschool group we’re a part of.  Now, I haven’t been bowling in 15 years.  {The last time I bowled I made the mistake of crossing over the line into the slicker-than-ice zone.  Who knew?  One second I’m upright, the next I’m flat on my back, no stops in between!  Thankfully and amazingly I wasn’t hurt.  My friend, who was laughing her head off, tried to help me up.  But it.was.slick!  I finally managed to slide myself over to the gutter where I could get enough leverage to get back into an upright position.  One of the more embarrassing moments in my life.}

At any rate, last Thursday I had just played my first turn when He said, “Stop, or you’re going to be in pain tomorrow”.  Of course, it wasn’t an audible voice.  Just that niggling in my spirit.  I just remember thinking how I’d probably be sore the next day.  So I decided to go ahead and stop—after this game. 

Oh, how I wish I would’ve heeded the Lord’s instructions.

I actually wasn’t as sore as I thought I’d be the next morning.  And because it was such a nice day, I decided to go ahead and take my walk, doing an extra couple laps around the park so Grace could play.

Then the pain came with a vengeance.  My upper shoulder and on into my neck had a shooting pain I don’t remember ever having.  It got so bad I had to lay down alternating the ice pack with the heating pad.  When I tried to get up a few minutes later I couldn’t and needed my husband to help me.  We began praying for healing.

That night I had to sleep on my back (which I can’t normally do for prolonged periods of time).  And in the morning the pain was so bad I couldn’t move my neck, and I had to take shallow breaths because it hurt to breathe.  More praying and ibuprophen.  I have to be in a lot of pain to take an over-the-counter anything.  After a nice hot shower I began feeling better, and as the day progressed I began getting more and more movement in my neck and the pain began subsiding.  I slept on the recliner couch and this morning, I am happy to say the pain is very minimal and only at the source.  God is good to bring such quick relief and healing.

I don’t for a second believe that the Lord caused the pain to teach me a lesson.  On the contrary, if I would’ve stopped when He told me to, I would not have had to waste the last two days in pain.  But there is a lesson to be learned:  Obey.  He warned me, but I didn’t heed the warning.   

I am constantly on the learning curve.  With each lesson He teaches I’m hoping there will not have to be repeats.  You can bet I will listen the next time.  In fact He won’t even need to say anything because I’M NOT EVER GOING BOWLING AGAIN!

God Bless!

Brenda

Lamplight

What a blessing to have this blogging outlet.  Sometimes I just need to get things off my chest, and journaling my thoughts this way has really helped as I’ve been navigating through seemingly rough waters.  But I am happy to say the rough waters are only ripples now. 

I’m so thankful that the Lord is all-knowing.  The verse that says He is a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path is so true.  I can only see as far as the lamp casts its light.  But that’s ok.  God knows I don’t need to see any further than the lamp.  I am secure when I’m within the radius of the light.  When I venture off on my own, I leave the safety of the lamp’s light.  Before I know it, I’m tripping and stumbling and soon flat on my face.  All because, in my self-righteousness, I decided to take things into my own hands.  Thankfully, I am beginning to ‘get it’ quicker now.  Just stay in the light and trust the Lord to guide me.  How hard is that? 

On the Chelsie front:

She is becoming more and more like her former self.  The rough edges that were so not her are beginning to smooth out.  She is finding her place in life and slowly coming back to her First Love.  I continue to pray that the Lord will help me to speak His love into her life.  We’re all together moving out of a place where religion had us for so many years and into a newfound freedom in Christ that astounds me everyday.  I’m loving my new relationship with my Savior!

God bless,

Brenda

Progress

I am happy to say that progress is being made here--right here in my heart.  As I am aware and acknowledging of His constant presence in my life, it brings a calmness to my spirit that is so refreshing. 

One of the things I have established in my life is walking.  I know, sounds like I have completely changed the subject.  I started seriously walking sometime last December.  The reason I remember the month is not because I journaled it, but because Grace and I walked on Christmas Eve, it was that nice of a day.  (Sure would like snow this Christmas, Lord!)  I was six months away from turning 50.  The Lord’s desire for me (which became my desire) was to begin walking and strive to be as healthy as I could be.  I put aside the motivation of wanting to lose those ever-elusive 10 pounds, and instead began being more concerned for a healthy heart.  I knew that as I focused on my health the weight would come off—or it wouldn’t.  That didn’t matter to me anymore.

I started walking about a mile and progressed from there.  It soon became a habit.  I missed it when I couldn’t walk.  One reason I miss it is because walking gives me some private time I enjoy with the Lord.  We live in a beautiful farming community.  I love the beauty as the four seasons change and praise Him for it.  I love being able to worship, mention my requests, intercede or just listen to His voice.  It is very calming for my spirit, and I also have the added benefit of health.  I am up to 2-3 miles, and I try to walk at least 5 times a week.  This has also helped me tremendously in dealing with any issues we face with Chels.

Progress is being made in the Spirit on the Chelsie front.  She is such a beautiful girl and is coming back to her ‘old self’ more and more.  We have been able to talk about things and above everything she knows that her dad, me and her little sis love her so very much.  God is working to will and do His good pleasure in her.  We stand on that.

Progress is good. 

God bless,

Brenda

Aye, aye aye!

…or Mama Mia!

or Give it a rest already!

or Step aside, lady, and LET ME DO MY JOB!

These are the humorous thoughts going through my brain.  The thoughts I imagine the Lord is saying to me.

Thoughts that make me giggle. 

Some more thoughts: 

Give it back.  Give.it.back.NOW! 

If you don’t stop, I’m gonna _________! 

Or--and I really like this one--GRRRR!  (sometimes the frustration level moves beyond words and on into unintelligible sounds)!

But in all reality what He’s really saying is, “Let me finish what I have begun, dear daughter of mine."

I like that.

This new season is somewhat difficult for me as I am finding the balance between raising our 10-year old and having already raised Chels.  (Remember, I have no children in between).  I’m still in control/guidance mode with Grace.  But with Chels, she is an adult.  I have no control over her or her decisions, and that's as it should be.  I can only be her mom-friend, love her immensely and be there for her when she seeks guidance. 

I’m the type of learner that does best focusing on one thing at a time.  I can multi-task, but I can also quickly lose my ‘sense of balance’ when too many things are going on at the same time.  With every life issue I face, I see that my multi-tasking skills need to be honed so that both of my girls get their very best from me.  Oh how much I need to rely on the Holy Spirit’s guidance.

Having said all of that, letting the Lord continue doing the work He is doing in Chels has required me to relinquish my need to control.  Taking it out of God’s hands (as I mentioned in the previous post).  The wonderful thing is that He has been really quick to remind me when I’m trying to take over control, and even more of a miracle is that I have quickly given it back to Him—all fifteen times just today!

As for Chels, she is home.  She is becoming more like the Chels we know.  We can see her taking baby steps back to the Lover of Her Soul.  Sunny and I continue to confess over her appropriate scripture.  We continue to intercede for her and speak words of encouragement.  She is home. 

God bless,

Brenda

(Thank you to those who have begun ‘following’ my blog, though I prefer the word ‘friends’.  I haven’t been able to upload that widget onto my sidebar for some reason.)

Freaky Peace

Do you ever have moments or times where you experience what I like to call ‘freaky peace’?  It’s that Philippians 4:7 kind of peace.  It only comes from God and we don’t understand it.  But it’s there.

Recently I experienced one of the more horrible days in my life.  (Thank God those are few and far between!)  But then I realized this isn’t about me and my feelings but it’s about Christ in me.  I guess that was the first step in allowing His peace to wash over me.  It’s not about me.

My oldest daughter is 23.  She was raised in a spirit-filled church.  She received Christ when she was six years old.  When she turned 21 and after some family/church related turmoil (a story for a later time) she decided she wanted to rebel.  She moved out-of-state and befriended people who pulled her down spiritually.  This was two years ago.  Since then she has been miserable in every sense of the word—exactly what happens when one knows the truth.

At the same time and knowing that she’s not living right (and her thinking she’s pulling the wool over our eyes), her dad and I have been praying, praying and praying!

About two months ago while out on my walk I was praying for her and began sensing such an urgency to pray more intensely.  I began confessing that ‘today, now, she is coming home.  Today she is Born Again.  Today…today…’ That evening she called us and said it was time to come home.  I’m so thankful for the Holy Spirit urging me to pray more intensely than ever before that morning.  He is so faithful if we’ll listen and obey His voice.

It took two months to finally get her home.  And I’m telling you in the past two months I have never prayed more, confessed more, rebuked Satan’s attack off her life more.  It has been a battle.  But I have to confess, the biggest battle has been feeling the need to take it out of God’s hands--It's ok God, you got her home, now I"ll take it from here’!--like I can fix anything, sheesh!  (Moms the world over know exactly what I’m talking about!) There have been so many other things He has taught me through this—compassion (I thought I had), love, realizing that the foothold of self-righteousness and pride are hard to break in one’s life (speaking of my own).  Wonderful lessons but learning them through the ‘freaky peace’ process.

There is still a battle waging.  Satan is doing his best to annihilate Chels from the face of the planet.  This 'horrible' day had to happen for all of us.  Sometimes we have to face the very thing we’d rather shove under the carpet.  So me and my Father went for a drive.  I cried, I felt Him cry with  me, wrap his arms around me and cover me with His peace.

God is working to will and do His good pleasure in her life (Phil. 2:13).  He brought her home and keeps reminding me that He’s going to finish what He’s started in her life.  As for me, my responsibility is to love, speak words in due season, and pray like never before.

Yet God Is!

Brenda

Welcome!

Some of you are here because I have personally invited you, others because you have randomly happened upon my blog.  Welcome to both!

This blog is my attempt at journaling my thoughts on being Christ-like--or as close as I can get to becoming Christ-like.  I am ever-growing and hungry for more and more of Him.
I am Born Again.  I am Spirit-filled.  And, yes, I do speak in tongues (gasp!).

Some of my thoughts are non-traditional, non-mainstream, non-religious Christianity.  Things the Holy Spirit has been teaching me that go against the flow or 'traditions of men'.

I believe in contextual study of the Word of God.  It's easy to pull a verse or two 'out of the hat' to fit whatever need is present in one's life or to get more money or service from a congregation (ouch!) but is that verse read in context?  {Here's a fun challenge.  The next time the minister gives the scripture reference for his/her sermon, quickly read above and below the said scripture.  Sometime you'll know right then if what is being delivered from the pulpit is in context with scripture.  If this can't be done quickly--for instance, the whole chapter or book in question should be read, then take it home and read it.  This may include looking up the Greek and/or Hebrew meanings of certain words.  (Some things may really surprise you!)  It is our responsibility to 'study to show ourselves approved'.  Plus you get the added benefit of growth through personal study.}

I chose my blog title 'Yet God Is!' because no matter what my thoughts are--whether filled with faith or I happen to be in a horribly-negative moment,  no matter what I am personally going through, I can rest assured that God is still the same, the Rock, steady and unchangeable.  No matter what I think, Yet God Is!

God bless,
Brenda